On July 14th, the day after my due date, I woke up to some surges. I jokingly texted my best friend and said "Is today the day?" I had a 40-week midwife appointment that morning, so I went about my normal routine to wait and see if things picked up. The surges fizzled out and didn't return until around 8 pm that evening. I still wasn't convinced because they were short and not lasting long, and to be honest, even though this was my second birth, this was my first time going into labor naturally so all of these sensations were new to me.

After a short walk after eating dinner, the surges became consistent, so I decided to try and get some rest just in case that night was the night. I gave my doula Carmen and Erin a heads up, and then laid down. I put on an early labor meditation track and dozed off, just a little. Around 11 pm the surges were becoming uncomfortable, so I decided to wake Manny and clean up a bit. Within that hour, my surges were 3-5 minutes apart, and I was needing to sway and rock to them. At this point, my doula Carmen and Erin decided to head over. Shortly after my midwife arrived, I labored for a bit longer, and then asked to be checked, so I could get a baseline of where I was at. She told me I was 4 cm.

From there I did all the things: rocked, swayed, sat on the toilet for a long time, got on all fours, showered, and slow-danced with Manny. I know at some point, I was like "Wait, how long has it been?" I asked my doula "What time is it?”, and she said "Let's not worry about that." Being a doula myself, I understood why. I knew I needed to trust my body and its timing. Around 5 am, I decided to get into the tub to see if being fully submerged would help take the edge off. I had my birth playlist on and I was channeling and coping through it all. I was checked again and was 6 cm, When I heard that, I started to become anxious that I wasn't further along because the sun would be rising soon.

I got in bed with Manny and tried to rest, hoping that would progress things along. I am pretty sure I got some rest because the next time I opened my eyes the sun was up. At this point, they were opening blinds and doing all the things to encourage more energy to keep on laboring. From sunrise to mid-afternoon, I labored my ass off. My surges were intense, strong, and every 3 minutes or so. I spent a lot of time in the tub and kept my eyes closed for the majority of it. I was using mantras and I was truly in labor-land. I started to feel pressure with these surges and reached a point where I was grunting. This went on for I don't know how long - I just know it went on and on and on. I was feeling discouraged. I cried, and I talked to my baby letting her/him know it was time to come. I remember seeing the time and it was 12:45 pm and I was thinking, "I've been at this since midnight - this baby has to be here soon.”

I labored some more on the toilet (the “dilation station” they call it) to encourage the baby to come down, and boy, was it intense. I was having very few breaks in between surges and I was feeling it all in my back and hips. My doula helped me snack in between surges with honey sticks, crackers, cheese, and juice to help with my energy levels. I kept saying to Manny, "I just want to snuggle and sleep." I probably said that over and over for a while. I asked to be checked again. I was just about 9 cm and the baby was 0 station, but I had some cervical lip in the way. She also felt that the baby's head was asynclitic. Jacinda, my midwife, said “We can try and push and see if the lip would move out of the way, but it's going to be very uncomfortable.” I said “Yes, let's try it - I just wanted to meet my baby already.” We tried, and unfortunately it didn't work. She said in these situations sometimes it could be a few more hours before the baby would be ready to come down and out. She gave some suggestions to help the baby get into a better position. I ended up doing lunges in the tub and getting on all fours, and I was praying that would do the trick. At this point, it was becoming extremely difficult to labor through the exhaustion. I just couldn't go on like this anymore. I hadn't slept since the night before labor started, and I couldn't eat because I was so nauseous. I desperately just wanted to sleep.

The decision to go to the hospital wasn't thought-out, I literally just got up and walked out of my house and straight to my mom's van and said "Drive us.” I didn't give my birth team much time to do any other convincing - sorry guys - haha. Looking back, I know now that I was in transition and my thoughts were irrational. I knew I wouldn't be able to get an epidural, but it was the only thing I could think of to keep myself laboring and not panicking. I think I had it in my head that it could be hours of this same cycle and that scared me. What I didn't realize in the moment is the surges I was having after standing and getting into the van, were the surges that were about to make me meet my baby.

I left the house a little after 5 pm. When I arrived at the hospital, it was a little chaotic. They didn't know I was coming, and they had no rooms open. I went into Labor & Delivery, while my doula and Erin waited in the lobby. At this point, I was pushing with each surge, and the surges were coming on fast. The sweetest nurse assisted me and said “Here, come with me.” We went into a room that was not prepped for labor and delivery. I got onto the bed on all fours, I remember my nurse saying, "It sounds like you’re pushing, Mama - let's see what's going on.” To my surprise, I was complete and baby was at +1 station. I felt so relieved when she said, "Your baby is right there!" It was baby time - there was no time for breaking down the bed, no IV, and she couldn't really even get the monitor on to hear baby’s heart rate.

The OB came in, along with Carmen my doula, and Erin. Within a few pushes, baby was here. I was in a different world, the rush of hormones flooded me, and I was so happy to finally meet our baby. We waited to find out the gender, and with our firstborn being a boy, we were eagerly waiting to see if we would be welcoming another little baby boy, or a baby girl.

Manny looked and said “ITS A GIRL!” We were just in awe. That moment was so special. It was this feeling of knowing I worked so hard and she was finally here. My doula, Carmen, was so incredibly sweet, held my hand, and told me “YOU DID IT!” I set out with a mission for this pregnancy, to overcome my previous birth trauma, to labor on my own terms, and to be at home. Even though I ultimately gave birth in the hospital, I think about what Erin said to me: "It really was just a change of venue."

My birth took me by complete surprise - it was beautiful, it was hard, it was wild. I look at birth so differently now. I understand what it's like to have birth plans change, I understand how much surrendering goes into having a natural birth, I understand the importance of pain relief, and that medicated births are powerful and beautiful as well. What takes place during a birth can be unexpected in so many ways, and what it really comes down to is how you felt during it. I was surrounded by an amazing birth team and I felt respected, loved, and heard throughout the whole journey, and because of that I am able to look back on my birth experience and feel joy despite the change of plans and I feel so grateful for that.

The Birth Story of Iris Mae | Jacksonville Birth Photographer